The Light We Lost by Jill Santopolo
I had the chance to reconnect with a favorite author of mine at a recent book club. I love asking authors I enjoy what they are currently recommending as one of their favorite recent reads. This author said, "The Light We Lost - I must be reading it for the fifth or sixth time." Well, that is telling in and of itself. So I put it on my to-read list and requested it from my local library.
I picked it up last weekend and after finishing another love story, I wasn't sure I was ready to pick this one up right away, but I did anyway. I was immediately pulled in to the writing. This was a love story for the ages. Lucy and Gabe meet on September 11, 2001 in New York. The day of their first meeting I think was a driver for their very intense love story. The book is written as letters or a novel from Lucy to Gabe. If you have ever had an intense, all consuming love... the one for which you compare all things love to for the rest of your life, you will appreciate this story.
Lucy & Gabe have a very intense moment that day. They share a kiss. Then later Gabe tells Lucy that he got back with his ex-girlfriend. The emotions of 9/11 are taking everyone on a roller coaster ride, so this wasn't that surprising. They later run into each other again and they are both single. That day begins an intense love affair. They move in together quickly and their days are filled with shared interest and intense passion. Lucy does a great job of telling this part of their story.
Gabe is a photographer and is moved to travel abroad and photograph what is happening with post-9/11 war efforts. He confronts Lucy with his decision to follow that dream and basically says he is leaving her although he loves her. Lucy has a career she is passionate about so she can't leave New York. As a result, this intense and all-consuming love affair is over in just a little over a year.
Lucy is slogging through a depression when she meets Darren at a summer house in the Hamptons she is staying at with friends. Their romance is completely different and has a very slow start but Darren is a good, stable guy and Lucy slowly falls in love with him.
This story spans 15 years in all. We see Lucy and Darren get married, have two kids, settle into their lives. But all along, Gabe pops in and out of Lucy's life and she is constantly comparing the love they had to the love the between her and Darren.
Towards the end of the story, Lucy confesses that she feels like her and Darren are drawing apart and she starts to think he is having an affair. At the same time, Gabe reaches out to tell her he is coming to New York. She agrees to meet up with him and after a couple of drinks confesses that she thinks Darren is cheating on her. A little tipsy, she ends up kissing Gabe and then making the decision to go back to her hotel where they make love multiple times.
Later that day, she returns home to Darren to shares the "secret" he has been hiding. He has been negotiating to buy the house in the Hamptons where they first met. The woman who was calling his phone named Linda who was causing Lucy's suspicion was actually the real estate agent. Lucy is overwhelmed with grief when she realizes what she has done, but Darren mistakes her tears for happiness and the consumate the celebration with an impromptu love making. Lucy feels numb as she realizes this is the second man she has slept with that same day.
Gabe goes back abroad and life goes on. But before he does, he asks Lucy to come with him. She tells him she can't leave her kids and her husband will never let her take them, especially if she is going to be with him. Then, the unthinkable (but mostly predictable) thing happens... Lucy is pregnant. She does the math and realizes it could be for either Gabe or Darren. She doesn't tell Gabe.
Lucy is a few months pregnant when she gets a call that Gabe is in the hospital in Tel Aviv after being critically injured in a bombing. She is listed as his medical power of attorney. He is on life support and they want her to make the decision to pull the plug. She flies to Tel Aviv and we find out this is where she has been telling the story from all along. From his beside in ICU where he is brain dead.
Lucy is faced with a terrible decision and she is still struggling with who the father of her unborn child is. She requests a paternity test while she is in the hospital. She makes the decision to remove Gabe from life support. The book ends with with a letter penned from Lucy to her son. In the letter, she discloses that her son's father is Gabe. (Yes, I was crying ugly tears by the end of this book.)
I really wanted to know how Lucy and Darren's life goes from the point of her leaving that hospital. But I suppose I can make a bunch of assumptions. Either way, it is very clear that Gabe will always be there for Lucy - the love she could never recreate.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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